What is self esteem? Let’s look at the definition: “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self respect.” Ok, seems pretty simple, but it’s actually one of the biggest challenges to overcome because of its pervasiveness. Low self esteem and lack of self worth and self love underlie so many of the problems that people show up to therapy for. Having confidence and respect for one’s self is a very tall order for some.
Do you find yourself constantly comparing your skills, abilities, and character with those of other people? Is it difficult for you to pinpoint any strengths and value in who you are? Are you a person that struggles to accept compliments or positive feedback from others because you simply don’t believe it about yourself? Do you view yourself as flawed, never good enough, unworthy and undeserving, and indefinitely hopeless?
Your internal critic and negative thinking refuses to let you appreciate and respect yourself. The bully living in your mind reminds you over and over that you are a hunk of unsalvageable junk that will never amount to anything and will never be loved in the way you see others are.
Low self esteem isn’t always super easy to spot. It may not be a condition that you experience all of the time. Some people have little spurts of confidence or even use the confidence they have in certain aspects of life to compensate for insecurity and lack of confidence in others. Here are a few ways that low self esteem and lack of self worth manifests and impacts your life:
What if someone told you that you weren’t born thinking so poorly of yourself? What if you were able to uncover the source of your self-deprecating thoughts and learn to love and respect the person that you are? What if there was hope for you? How would your life change?
Overcoming issues with self esteem and self worth can be a bumpy road. For some, it’s a problem so deeply rooted and adhered to their identity that trying to retrain their brain to see a different perspective feels like a losing battle. This is where counseling can really benefit you. It can be very hard to see an issue when you’re too close to it, and let’s be real, you can’t get much closer to an issue when it lives within you. Talking with a counselor in an unbiased, non-judgmental, and secure environment gives you the opportunity to get outside of yourself and do the work that’s needed to evolve your perspective and heal the wounds that your internal critic keeps ripping open.
Self esteem counseling will teach you all of the ways that your brain distorts information. You’ll learn about patterns of thinking, like Imposter Syndrome and Victimhood, that develop for people with low self esteem. You’ll have a safe space to unravel your insecurities and vulnerabilities with a professional trained to listen and guide you on your journey of healing and redefining yourself.
If you’re looking for a person that is genuine, compassionate, and comfortable to talk to, then you’re in the right place. Nicole has worked with all kinds of people, different backgrounds, different experiences, different beliefs, and different personalities. She has heard and seen a lot in her life and in her career; and this experience allows her to see each individual as they are without needing them to subscribe or conform to a particular viewpoint as you might get with some counselors. Her main priority in the beginning phase is creating a trusting relationship where you feel safe enough to take down your protective walls and explore the parts of yourself that you want to work on.
Nicole will help you to explore the sources of your low self esteem. She will encourage exploration of past and present experiences, relationships, and patterns to understand their impact on you. As you move through your process, she will empower you to express yourself freely and help you to develop self compassion and self love. Nicole will teach you strategies for recognizing your inner critic’s voice and separating it from your own. She will give you the tools you need to regain power over your mind and your experience.
Nicole utilizes a number of different therapeutic techniques in sessions. Her approach is integrative as each person’s needs are unique to them. We can’t just look at the distorted ways of thinking without taking note of the external factors that contribute to them. We can’t just look at the emotional experience someone is having without also considering how they are taking care of their body. Nicole believes true growth happens when we can see an issue from all angles. It’s then that we can find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Counseling can feel awkward and anxiety-provoking at first. But it's worth it and so are you! Nicole is a real person who's dedicated to helping you discover your true self and honoring your authenticity in all aspects of life. Give it a go! She likes to sprinkle in a little humor from time to time so there's a good chance you'll leave with a big smile on your face. Call for your complimentary consultation today!
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If you are in crisis, having suicidal thoughts, or are in immediate danger of harming yourself or others, call 911. If you are not in immediate danger but need to talk to someone, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. If you are located outside of the United States, call your local emergency line immediately.